Signs of a Fobbit
In the last week I have added a new word to my vocabulary. FOBBIT. Definition of Fobbit: Forward Operating Base Goblins. I guess I come close to being a Fobbit except that I don't actually live on a Fob but instead live on a compound. Fobbit comes from the word Hobbit. Hobbits are a fictional race from J. R. R. Tolkien's Middle-earth universe. Hobbits as a rule are peaceful and would rather live in their hobbit hole communities and be left alone.
A recent letter to the editor in the Stars and Stripes paper talked about this new phenomenon.
If you answer yes to more than three of these questions, you might be a Fobbit.
§ Do you have more special operations gear than a Special Forces team?
§ Does your idea of a mounted patrol includes a shuttle bus?
§ Do you think red, amber and green are just colors?
§ Does your communications problems mean the Internet cafe is closed?
§ Do you think an insurgent is a nonidentification card holder in the post exchange?
§ Are your only trips outside the wire back home?
§ Was your last Meals, Ready to Eat stateside?
§ Was the last person who shot at you playing the video game Halo?
§ Has your family in the States seen more of Iraq on CNN than you have from a Humvee?
§ Are the only Iraqis you’ve seen workers cleaning a port-a-potty?
§ Do the attachments on your weapon outweigh the weapon itself?
§ Are the only checkpoints you pass at Burger King, the dining facility and the AT&T call center?
§ Do you have a magazine secured to your weapon with 100 MPH [duct] tape?
§ Does the term “normal hours of operations” still have relevance to your job?
§ Is the mileage on your vehicle almost the same as when it got here?
§ Does a dismounted patrol usually involve a Whopper with cheese?
§ Are you unable to remember the last time you wore your Interceptor Body Armor and Kevlar?
§ Do you have more knives on your gear than hands to use them?
§ Have your sun, sand and dust goggles not seen sun, sand or wind?
If you haven’t left the gate and don’t intend to any time soon, you just might be a Fobbit.
Guess What, I am definitely a Fobbit and proud of it!
A recent letter to the editor in the Stars and Stripes paper talked about this new phenomenon.
If you answer yes to more than three of these questions, you might be a Fobbit.
§ Do you have more special operations gear than a Special Forces team?
§ Does your idea of a mounted patrol includes a shuttle bus?
§ Do you think red, amber and green are just colors?
§ Does your communications problems mean the Internet cafe is closed?
§ Do you think an insurgent is a nonidentification card holder in the post exchange?
§ Are your only trips outside the wire back home?
§ Was your last Meals, Ready to Eat stateside?
§ Was the last person who shot at you playing the video game Halo?
§ Has your family in the States seen more of Iraq on CNN than you have from a Humvee?
§ Are the only Iraqis you’ve seen workers cleaning a port-a-potty?
§ Do the attachments on your weapon outweigh the weapon itself?
§ Are the only checkpoints you pass at Burger King, the dining facility and the AT&T call center?
§ Do you have a magazine secured to your weapon with 100 MPH [duct] tape?
§ Does the term “normal hours of operations” still have relevance to your job?
§ Is the mileage on your vehicle almost the same as when it got here?
§ Does a dismounted patrol usually involve a Whopper with cheese?
§ Are you unable to remember the last time you wore your Interceptor Body Armor and Kevlar?
§ Do you have more knives on your gear than hands to use them?
§ Have your sun, sand and dust goggles not seen sun, sand or wind?
If you haven’t left the gate and don’t intend to any time soon, you just might be a Fobbit.
Guess What, I am definitely a Fobbit and proud of it!
posted by Heidi O at 9:36 PM
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